


Bloom

by Wlwolves



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wlwolves/pseuds/Wlwolves
Summary: At first, she only admired the older girl. But soon, that admiration turned into something more. Yubin tried so many times to deny that she had romantic feelings and tried to distance herself from the thought of it. She knew she couldn't deny her feelings forever and eventually accepted it.She admitted that she fell for her, she was in love with her. All the little things she does made her heart flutter and made a warm feeling grew in her chest. She just never thought that that warm feeling could turn into a garden of her own in her lungs.
Relationships: Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

Yubin woken up in the middle of the night by a sudden pain in her chest. She sat up and looked for her phone, she saw that it was 3:40 am. The pain in her chest didn't go away and only went to her throat slowly. She started to cough a little bit and felt something coming up.

She rushed to the bathroom, closed and locked the door and started to cough again. She put her hands on either side of the sink and started cough, this time she could feel the thing that was in her throat more. 

She coughed the thing that was stuck on her throat to the sink and saw what it was. Flower petals. She knew exactly what it meant immediately, she had hanahaki. Of course she had to, just being in a one-sided love wasn't enough for her and her falling for one of her bandmates wasn't bad enough either. She just had to have the disease.

She threw away the petals and made sure it was hidden from anyone to see. She turned off the bathroom lights and went out of the bathroom and quickly laid herself on her bed. She closed her eyes trying to forget about it and soon fell asleep again.

\---------------

She woke up to the sound of her alarm ringing beside her and she quickly turned it off. Grunting, she sat up again only to find Siyeon's curtain still closed and Minji stirring in her sleep. She went to the bathroom first to freshen herself up and took a shower.

She turned on the shower as fast as possible as she felt herself wanting to cough again, she didn't know if it was a normal one or the one where petals would come out, but she did it to block out the noise and she felt like the second option was more possible than the other.

Her prediction was correct as she coughed up three flower petals, those of a rose. She watched as the three petals fall down into the drain. She sighed and continued her shower, taking her time rather slowly than usual.

\---------------

She finally left the shower after spending 15 minutes in it and earning a few knocks from Siyeon and Minji. After she went out, Siyeon got in first and left Yubin and Minji in their room. Minji patiently waited for Siyeon to finish and Yubin changed her clothes into practice ones.

"You okay?" Minji asked.

"Hm?"

"You alright? I heard you coughing a bit last night and heard a few faint ones when you were in the shower."

"Oh, yeah, don't worry I'm fine."

"Okay."

Yubin distracted herself by continuing to change her clothes and playing with her phone for a bit. She didn't expect Minji to find out about her coughing so quickly, she didn't want her to anyways. She hoped that the other members won't notice it and only played it off.

Siyeon had gotten out of the bathroom after a few minutes and took turns with Minji. Yubin had suddenly felt the amount of thirst that she had and decided to go outside of her room and went to take a glass of water. 

She saw Bora in the kitchen with Gahyeon cooking some breakfast for the other members. Bora was the first one that saw her and greeted her.

"Yubin? Are the others awake?"

"Siyeon and Minji are, but I don't know about Yoohyeon though."

"Go check on her, if she's still asleep wake her up for breakfast okay?"

"Okay."

Yubin went into Yoohyeon's room and saw that her friend was still sleeping on the top bunk. As she was just about to wake her up, Yoohyeon spoke.

"Don't worry, I'm awake. No need to slap me or anything Bora," Yoohyeon thought it was Bora.

"Uh...okay but I'm not Bora and I wasn't planning on slapping you either."

Yoohyeon sat up to see that it was Yubin.

"Yubin? What're you doing here?"

"Waking you up, breakfast is gonna be ready soon."

"Breakfast? Alright I'll go and take a quick shower then have breakfast." 

"Okay," Yubin left her room.

\---------------

Yubin seemed a bit off in today's breakfast, she kept thinking about her new found disease and what will she do if people find out about it. Mostly, her members. They were the hardest people to stay away from, since they spend almost every second together with each other.

"Yubin? Are you okay? You seem a bit off," Minji questioned.

"Yubin? Is something wrong?" This time Bora joined in.

"Ye-yeah, I'm fine," Yubin mentally face palmed herself for stuttering.

"You know you can talk to us if something's bothering you," Siyeon spoke beside her.

"It's alright guys, I told you already."

The other members just stopped questioning her after her statement. They knew she wasn't feeling well but Yubin was stubborn and she didn't want the members worry because of her.

\---------------

They arrived at the practice room and immediately worked there. They were going to have a comeback soon with their first album. They practiced their dance first together then separated to practice other things, going to different rooms. 

Yubin went to her little studio to work on her rapping more and thinking of ways to make it seem better. She kept on practicing or a while until she started to cough again, she accepted the fact that petals will soon fall down to her desk.

She hid and threw away the petals and tried to get back to work, ignoring the weird taste that she had in her mouth. She drank a lot of water trying to get rid of the uncomfortableness in her throat and brushed her teeth just incase it smelled like the petals.

Just after she got back from the bathroom to her studio, a knock came from the door. Yubin let the person come in and she saw that it was Minji.

"Hey, the others are gonna gather up later and practice their vocals together in ten more minutes. I just came here to tell you."

"Alright, I'll be there. Thanks for telling me."

"Actually, can I stay here for a while? I'm kind of tired from singing after a while and I need a break."

"Uhm, yeah sure, just grab a chair and sit down."

Minji went in and grabbed a spare chair that was in Yubin's studio and placed it next to her to sit down on. 

"So, how's practice so far?"

"It's alright."

"Your throat okay? I'm guessing your coughing from last night and this morning wasn't nice."

"It's okay, I can still manage with this."

"Alright, stay healthy okay?" Minji held Yubin's hand and drew circles on it.

"I'll make sure to do that," Yubin gave a small but reassuring smile to Minji.

\---------------

They gathered up together to start their vocal practice together. Thankfully, Yubin didn't cough even once for the rest of their practice. They went home after long time of practice and Yubin worrying that she'll cough up petals.

They went into their manager's car with Yubin sitting in the back seat near the window Minji sitting next to her in the middle, Siyeon on the other side of the window. The rest was in front sitting individually.

She felt the tiredness sinking into her, physically and mentally. She put on her headphones and played music then closed her eyes, trying to get a bit of rest. She suddenly felt someone's head on her shoulder, she opened her eyes to see a tired Minji having her eyes closed.

She smiled a little watching her. Brushing some of her bangs of her purple hair while keeping her smile. Her smile then fell as she saw that Minji's hand was held by Siyeon, getting pinched by Siyeon's hands.

She couldn't help but feel jealous because of Siyeon. She looked away and faced the window, focusing on the music she was listening instead. She sighed silently as she closed her eyes again letting herself sleep.

The person she loved was Minji. But she knew her feelings would never be reciprocated. At first, she only admired the older girl. She was very beautiful, kind, lovely, bright, and everything she thought made her perfect. She couldn't believe Minji actually existed, it was like she was an angel that came from heaven.

But soon, that admiration turned into something more. Yubin tried so many times to deny that she had romantic feelings for Minji and tried to distance herself from the thought of it. She knew she couldn't deny her feelings forever and eventually accepted it.

She admitted that she fell for her, she was in love with her. All the little things she does made her heart flutter and made a warm feeling grew in her chest. She just never thought that that warm feeling could turn into a garden of her own in her lungs.

\---------------

They finally arrived at their dorm and Yubin immediately took another shower to make herself comfortable enough to sleep. She didn't spend that much time because the others wanted to use it as well.

Once she finished, she immediately laid down on her bed to sleep. She didn't think or want to think about everything that was on her plate at the moment so she decided to sleep it away.  
She surprisingly slept peacefully.

However, that peacefulness didn't last forever. She woke up in the middle of the night again to cough and felt some petals wanting to come out her lungs. She rushed to the bathroom only to find that is was locked.

She had no other choice but went out of her room and went to the kitchen instead. She coughed up five petals that belonged to the red rose, she sighed as she hid the petals in the kitchen trash bin and went to her room again.

As she went in, she was surprised to see Siyeon sitting on her bed. She was the one the locked the bathroom, she tried to avoid the situation by ignoring her and laying down on her bed farther away from Siyeon.

"I know what you want to say, and my answer is I'm fine," Yubin spoke quickly.

Siyeon was shocked by Yubin's cold behavior, something that was very rare of her. She decided to not let it get to her heart or take it personally and instead laid down on Yubin's bed and hugged her from behind.

"I already knew your answer to my question, now let me sleep here and hug you to make you feel better. It's the least I can do."

Siyeon put her arm around Yubin's waist and Yubin intertwined her fingers with hers. Siyeon's words weren't entirely true and wrong, it did made it feel better but it didn't at the same time.

She knew there was only two ways to make her "better", one was getting the surgery, the other was for Minji to fall in love with her. Both seemed impossible for her to happen and that made her think about an alternative option. Death.

She could either take the surgery or let herself be in pain until her time is up. She didn't even think once that Minji would ever fall in love with her, it would be unprofessional and messy everywhere.

And she wasn't planning on confessing to Minji as well, she knew if Minji didn't feel the same, their friendship would be awkward and broken. Yubin didn't want that, she would rather die, literally, than have that happen. It would ruin her, Minji, and their group at the same time.

The thoughts in her head was getting to loud and she wanted it to stop. She forced herself to sleep, trying to forget everything once again. She slept after 30 minutes of trying and knowing she'll have to wake up in a few hours later.

\---------------

She woke up by getting shaken slightly by Siyeon.

"Yubin, wake up. Your alarm rang 15 minutes ago."

"What? 15 minutes? How did I not notice?"

"I don't know, me and Minji already showered, it's your turn now."

Yubin sat up and ruffled her hair while staring blankly for a bit. She then got up and head into the bathroom to take a shower and freshen herself up. She was still sleepy judging by the lack of sleep she got.

Her mind was blank the entire time she was doing her morning routine, like she put her brain on autopilot. After they all ate breakfast, they headed to the practice room to practice again. 

\---------------

Yubin went to her studio with gahyeon since she said that she needed help with her rap part. Yubin agreed as she did have a bit of difficulties in one of their songs where she sang. They decided to help each other out in Yubin's studio.

Once they arrived, Yubin placed a chair next to hers for Gahyeon to sit on. Their practice was going smoothly until Yubin felt something coming up, she had to cough up petals again. 

She panicked as Gahyeon was there and she couldn't let it all out that easily. She started coughing and Gahyeon played it out as a normal cough at first. But Yubin's cough wasn't getting better at any given time, she grew worried and asked her a few "are you okay's" but only got coughs as answers.

Then it came out, only four petals left her body and she successfully caught three in her hand but one slipped out and landed on her desk for Gahyeon to see. 

"Oh my god," Gahyeon breathed out.

That was the only thing that came out of Gahyeon's mouth as she put her hand in front of her mouth. Yubin let the three other petals that was on her hands fell to to the desk, giving up on hiding them in front of Gahyeon.

"Yubin, how long?"

"Started yesterday, unfortunately."

"Do you know who it is?"

"Yes, I've been in love with her for a while."

"Her? Is it one of our members?"

Yubin gave a silent response to Gahyeon's question.

"Is it me? If it is I can try to love you."

Yubin only shook her head a no as she wasn't the one she loved.

"It's someone else."

"Are you planning on confessing?"

Yubin once again shook her head.

"Please, you need to or else-"

"I'm not doing it. And I'm not doing the surgery."

"What do you mean! Yubin this could kill you!"

"I know!"

Yubin responded quickly, maybe too quick. As if she had already been thinking about it ever since she got it. Yubin looked at Gahyeon and spoke again.

"I know this could kill me. But, I'd rather die than not feel anything anymore."

Gahyeon only sighed as she knew she couldn't change the older girl's mind.

"I hope you know what you're doing Yubin, I really do."

"I hope so too Gahyeon, I really do."

Their conversation ended after Gahyeon agreeing with Yubin that she would keep this a secret from anybody else. Gahyeon was doubtful of her plan but went with it in the end.

They went back to practice together again and Yubin can feel the worried gaze that Gahyeon gives her through the room. She tried to ignore it by focusing on her dance and trying not to mess up.

When practice finished, the rest of them were getting ready to leave except for Yubin. 

"Yubin? Why aren't you packing up?" Yoohyeon asked.

The rest of them were looking at Yubin now, waiting for her response.

"I think I'm gonna stay her for a little bit. There's some parts I wanna cover more and make it better."

"Alright, just don't overwork yourself." Bora looked at Yubin with a loving gaze.

"Don't worry, I won't."

\---------------

What she said was a lie, she practiced until she felt like her bones were about to break and a couple of petals were on the floor because of the little garden in her body.

She collapsed on the floor while closing her eyes and feeling the sweat everywhere on her body. She got up as she heard a notification from her phone and looked at it. 

It was Minji texting her, she asked on why she wasn't home yet and if she was still practicing. Yubin said that she was on her way home now and lied. She closed her phone after recieving an "okay" from Minji.

She actually had plans to stay for another hour and torture herself in the practice room but since Minji texted her and she lied, she decided to go home.

She cleaned the petals that were scattered on the floor and brought it with her on the way back to throw it somewhere else other than the practice room and her dorm.

\---------------

As soon as she went inside her room, she saw Minji laying down on her bed. It seemed like she had been waiting for Yubin but accidentally fell asleep while trying to do so.

Yubin sighed as she dropped her bag onto the floor and carefully laid down on her bed, trying not to wake Minji up. She only changed her clothing since didn't want to smell like sweat and then laid down on her bed.

Yubin was just about to sleep when she felt the side beside her dip and felt an arm wrap around her waist and hugged her. Legs also went and tangled themselves with her own. Minji groaned as she made herself comfortable in Yubin's presence.

Yubin's breath got stuck in her throat and her heart skipped a beat. She turned to face Minji and hugged her too.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry, I walked here."

"Just sleep now, I don't think you have that many time left to do it."

"Alright, I'll try to."

\---------------

She felt like she only closed her eyes and opened it again. The sound of her alarm felt like it was the worst sound she's ever heard in her entire lifetime. She groaned but heard that her alarm was turned off by someone else.

Then she realized that Minji was still with her and she was the one that turned of the alarm. Yubin was feeling horrible and lazy that the only thing she did upon hearing her alarm was just snuggle closer into Minji.

"You can sleep for a little longer considering to practiced until very late and only got one or two hours of sleep."

"Only that much?"

"Yes...did you not look at the time..?"

"I may or may not have."

"Okay, that's fine I guess. Just sleep for a while then I'll you up again."

"No no, it's fine. I think I'm good enough."

"You sure? I'm not sure I believe that."

"I'm sure, don't worry. Do you want to shower first or should I go first?"

"You can go first."

"Okay."

Yubin entered the bathroom and took a shower, she to admit that the shower helped her a bit to wake her up more. She tried not to spend too much time in it as she knew that the others needed it as bad as she does.

Just as she was going to wash her herself, a knock came from the door.

"Yubin! Can I enter the bathroom for a second! I need to pee!" Minji yelled.

Yubin's face turned into a tomato but she decided that she shouldn't get embarrassed judging by the fact that she has seen Minji walking around the dorm naked and Minji has seen her naked as well, so there was no use to get embarrassed.

"Alright, just come in! I didn't lock the door!"

Minji came in the bathroom and immediately sat on the toilet seat pulling her pants down and relieved herself. Yubin couldn't help but peek a little behind the shower glass, she didn't want to do it but her eyes accidentally went to her once and another time.

After Minji finished, she started to walk to the door but stopped midway.

"Yubin, can we shower together? There's no point in me going out again and it'll save up a lot of time. But if you don't want to, it's fine, I understand."

"No, it's fine. Go ahead."

Yubin's heart was pounding and she tried to keep herself as composed as she could be. She couldn't act weird or awkward since they've done this before but without Yubin's feelings being there.

Minji started to undress herself and got in the shower with Yubin. She stood near her to get close with the shower head and washed herself with water for a bit. Yubin took her shampoo and moved places so that she wouldn't be too close to Minji.

But as soon as she did, Minji followed her exact state by moving farther from the shower head to properly wash her hair. Yubin tried to finish faster than Minji but had to make it look natural and actually clean herself.

When she finished covering her hair with shampoo she washed her hair with water but suddenly felt hands helping her. That scared her but didn't show it on the outside. Minji was washing her hair and massaging her scalp at the same time. Yubin wasn't gonna lie she liked it.

When all the shampoo was cleaned off, Minji switched places with Yubin and Yubin helped cleaning Minji's hair. She tried her best not to hurt Minji since she didn't know what was the best way to do it.

When she finished, she saw that Minji was grabbing the soap and moved out the way for Yubin to grab some as well. They started to wash their own bodies and surprisingly, they didn't do the same thing they did while washing their hair.

They finally finished and Yubin thanked herself for not coughing up petals in the shower. They dried themselves and left the bathroom then changed their clothes. They ate breakfast and soon went to practice again.

\---------------

Yubin was tired. She was sleepy. And she felt weak.

Her dancing looked a bit off than how she would usually dance and her rap was less energetic than it should be. The members were worried and told her to rest instead, the idea didn't seem that bad to her so she accepted it, even though she didn't want to.

She went to her studio to rest since she didn't want to go to the dorm incase she got better. Flopped herself down on the mini couch she had in her studio. As soon as she did, she coughed again. But this was a normal cough, not one where flower petals would come out of.

She had a feeling she was gonna get sick, her temperature was rising up and she kept coughing and sneezing. Sometimes her head got dizzy, she overworked and made herself sick yesterday.

She decided to give up on doing anything and just laid down on her couch and decided to close her eyes for a while. She put a blanket over herself and stayed in that position.

\---------------

Turns out, she overslept. She missed almost the entire practice and panicked when the clock showed 8 p.m. She tried to get up but immediately felt dizzy while doing so. 

She tried to fight back the dizziness but only sat down again on the couch. Her door suddenly opened and Yoohyeon entered her studio looking surprised.

"You're awake."

"Yeah, just woke up."

Yoohyeon stepped closer and felt Yubin's temperature by putting her hand on her forehead.

"Yubin you're burning!"

"Don't worry about it."

"Are you kidding?! You're going back to the dorm and not saying no, you're clearly sick."

Yubin only sighed since she knew that her friend was right.

"Fine. I'll go back."

"Good."

The others helped collect Yubin's stuff and packed it for her, she soon left their practice room to go back to the dorm. When she got there, she immediately went to her room and slept again.

\---------------

She woke up feeling still tired from her sleep she looked at her phone to see that was 12 p.m. which means that she was late to practice. She almost got up and hurry to the practice room before she got a note stick on her desk near her bed.

For Yubin,

I know that you're probably wondering why your alarm didn't ring or why we didn't wake you up, it's simple really, you were still sick and your temperature was still hot so we decided to let you take the day off.

Dreamcatcher members

She sighed as she laid down on her bed again, she stayed there for a good amount of time until she wanted to to take a warm bath for a while then probably eat. She thought a bath would be nice for her and could help her relax.

She made the water warm and let herself bathe there and tried to make all her thoughts go away. She felt like closing her eyes again and she did, she let herself close her eyes and hope all her problems could go away.

\---------------

She woke up to see Bora shaking her so that she would wake up.

"Yubin! Wake up! How long have you been here, the water is cold. Come on let's get you out."

"Huh?"

Yubin only let Bora get her out and helped her by moving her limbs for a little bit. Bora put the toilet seat down and let Yubin sit there while drying her, Yubin was still very confused.

"Seriously, how long were you there? The water's way too cold for you to be in there."

"What time is it now?"

"It's almost two o'clock, when did you get in?"

"twelve..."

"You're insane, thank god the members told me to check up on you."

I am going insane, that was what Yubin wanted to say but kept it in herself. Bora then took her by her hands and grabbed her some clothes for her to put on herself.

"Someone needs to stay here with you, I want to but I have to make a choreography for one of our songs. I'm gonna call the other members to see which one of them is free."

"I'm good alone but fine."

Bora gave her an 'are you serious' look at Yubin and Yubin just stayed silent, avoiding her gaze. She definitely wasn't good alone and needed some supervision since she almost freezed herself in the bath earlier.

She heard Bora make a call to someone.

"Hey, are any of the kids free today? Yubin needs someone to look after her."

Judging by how she said "kids" she was definitely talking to Minji.

"I'll explain later, just ask for now." 

Bora was silent for a while until she heard an answer go through the phone.

"Cool, just come by the dorm and stay with her there, see you soon," Bora ended the call.

"Siyeon's gonna come by and take care of you, while we wait, I'm gonna cook you something healthy."

Yubin didn't answer and only followed Bora to the kitchen and watched her prepare something to cook. 

"I'm sorry for troubling everyone."

"What? Why are you sorry, it happens to best of us so don't blame yourself."

That wasn't the only thing that Yubin was sorry about actually, she was sorry for her feelings, she was sorry she was in love with their member, she was sorry that it was all going to end in a bad way.

Bora decided to cook Yubin some soup to make her feel better, when she was in the middle of cooking, Siyeon came in.

"Hey guys, what're you doing?"

"I'm cooking for Yubin, I don't trust you with our kitchen so I decided to cook before you do it."

"You made the right desicion."

Bora finished her cooking then left the dorm. Yubin ate the soup that Bora cooked for her before with Siyeon accompanying her and joking around with her. She forgot for a moment that she actually had a disease that could kill her.

Yubin finished the soup and Siyeon placed it in the kitchen sink for someone to wash it after. She came back to Yubin to ask how she was feeling and how her temper was, luckily it got better and Yubin was also feeling better.

They both played games with each other and let themselves relax for the day before Siyeon has to come back to practice tomorrow. They were together for the whole day until the members came back and they hanged out with the two of them despite their tiredness.

\---------------

A month passed and Yubin was surprised that only a few petals came out of her in a couple of days for about three weeks and only Gahyeon knowing about it. That only lasted for a while though as she felt that one day she coughed up more petals than usual. The petals also had a little bit of blood on them and Yubin was disgusted by it. The fourth week was when it changed.

It was still in the morning when they were getting ready, Yubin was the second to shower after Minji. She didn't hear the door opening as she was busy cleaning up the petals and blood that was left on the bathroom sink.

She only noticed that someone came in when she heard a loud gasp coming from the door. Siyeon came in the bathroom to see Yubin cleaning up blood from herself and collecting the petals that flew out of her mouth.

She rushed to Yubin after closing the door and wanted ask her a question until Yubin spoke.

"Shut up, I know what you're gonna ask, Gahyeon asked it to me so I'll just explain quickly. I have hanahaki and it's been there for a month now, only you and Gahyeon knows about this and I'm begging you not to tell anyone else."

Siyeon had her jaw open as she heard Yubin's confession and looked at her cold expression. She only nodded her head as an answer and didn't dare to ask who Yubin was in love with, the younger girl left information out for a reason, and she respected that.

She helped Yubin clean the petals and the blood up before someone comes and sees them. After they cleaned up the mess, Siyeon hugged Yubin tightly and Yubin returned the hug just as tight, eyes suddenly tearing up and crying into the others neck.

The fear of her dying just hit her, she was scared of reality, she was scared of the disease, she was scared of confessing and having her feelings rejected, she was scared of a lot of things and she only realized this now.

They both parted after a good amount of time, Yubin wiped her tears and apologized for making Siyeon's shirt wet but Siyeon told her not to apologize. The both got ready at the same time since they already spent a few moments to cry.

\---------------

They went with their usual routine of practicing over and over again to make themselves better. Yubin particularly was pushing herself beyond her limits by fighting through her disease and practice becoming harder because of it.

She tried not to show that in front of the other members, she tried to act like everything was normal but it was so hard for her to do with the coughing and the constant fear of petals being seen coming out of her.

Everytime people asked her to go to the doctor or hospital she slways rejected them, that made their suspicion grow that Yubin was hiding something from them. But, Siyeon and Gahyeon were defending Yubin, even though they didn't want to. They did it only because Yubin asked them to, but silently, they were begging for Yubin to do anything. Being silent about it wasn't helping her.

\---------------

It had been months after her disease showed up. Tomorrow was their comeback, they gave it their all in the new album with members participating in lyric writing and choreography making. They worked hard as they didn't want to disappoint anyone, including themselves.

Yubin's hanahaki got worse but not to the point that it could be noticed that she had hanahaki. They definitely knew that she was sick, she's been coughing badly for quite some time.

Yoohyeon actually found out about her having hanahaki during the time they were eating out together. During their walk back to the dorm, Yubin's coughing came back and it let out a few petals that she failed to catch in time.

Yoohyeon that watched the scene panicked at looked at Yubin with a horrified look that Yubin found oddly similar with Siyeon's and Gahyeon's face. Yubin let the petals go from her hand and only let out a laugh that had no humor in it.

She told the details to Yoohyeon but left out the person she was in love with. Yoohyeon did ask if it was her but she said no, Yoohyeon looked sad? Disappointed? That she couldn't help her friend. If she was the person she's in love with, maybe she could've loved her.


	2. Feel

Comeback month passed, they were over their comeback and all the promotions they had to do. They gained a lot of fans compared to before, they noticed that and were happy of that. But Yubin was also happy couldn't help but look at the fact that Minji and Siyeon looked closer with each other in this comeback than before. Maybe too close for her liking.

She got jealous of them a lot of times whenever she saw that they posted a picture together even though that was dumb for her to think that, a lot of fans also shipped them.

Seeing that happen made her heart clench, her hanahaki got worse and her members were definitely noticing her concerning and weird behavior. They were really getting worried for her and was almost forcing her to go to the doctor.

They got their manager contacted to inform Yubin's well being and they immediately got into it. She finally gave up and agreed to go to the doctor, they set up an appointment to get her checked and to find out what was wrong with her. She stayed silent even until the end of it.

\---------------

The results from the hospital came out, and they finally found out that she had hanahaki. The first thing that Yubin did was apologize to her members and the company for her feelings and for hiding it, they were shocked by it but immediately denied that she did anything wrong.

They were going to discuss this matter in the next couple of days, meanwhile the members of dreamcatcher was told to keep an eye out for Yubin, to check how she was doing and told them to stay at the dorm.

\----------------

They were all at Yubin's room after getting the results from the doctor. They were all sitting on Yubin's bed, a thick silence filling the atmosphere of the room. Bora was the one who spoke first.

"How long?" She didn't look up, none of them dared to.

"A few months now, from before our comeback," Yubin answered.

"So it's been a while, huh? How did we not notice..."

"Unless...some of us did, but some of us didn't." Minji suddenly said.

The other three that was in the room shifted in their seat uncomfortably hearing what Minji said, it was true after all.

"Who knew about this," Bora asked.

"M-Me," Siyeon spoke up first.

"I'm sorry," Gahyeon said.

"Me too," Yoohyeon said.

"You didn't tell us?" Bora said, she felt betrayed.

"I told them not to." Yubin revealed.

"What?" Both Minji and Bora said.

"Hell, I even begged them. It was going to get complicated if everyone knew, my plan was not to let anyone know at all. They found out themselves accidentally so don't blame them."

"Why hide it when you knew it was going to be revealed in the end?" Bora was the one who kept talking.

"I at least needed to pass our comeback before telling everyone."

"Were you planning to tell us?"

"No."

"Who is it?" Minji suddenly spoke. Not just asking Yubin but everyone.

"Someone, I'm not telling anyone about her."

"Her?" 

Damn, Yubin slipped up and Minji noticed.

"I'm not telling you, no one knows except me."

They were all silent at Yubin's words. They didn't know what to say anymore.

"What're you gonna do now?" Minji asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you gonna confess or get the s-surgery,"

"I don't know..."

"Which one is the one that's most likely will happen in your opinion?" Bora added.

Yubin stayed quiet as both options didn't appeal her. Another one did.

"Is...is it a different option?" Minji said.

Yubin only nodded her head as they all knew what that option was. They all started to get teary eyed, Yubin also started to let her tears run down her cheeks. They crushed her in a hug, trying to make things better.

They didn't try to hide their sobs anymore and started to cry out loudly not caring about anything anymore. Because of the small crying party they were having, Yubin thought maybe, just maybe she would consider those options instead of giving up.

\---------------

Some of them went to bed but some of them haven't yet. Bora, Yoohyeon, and Minji was the only ones still awake. It was past midnight already, 00:42 to be exact.

The three of them were sitting on the little stalls near the kitchen table. They weren't talking or anything, they were just sitting with silence with each other rather than alone.

"Who do you think Yubin loves?" Minji asked.

The other two looked up to her upon hearing her speak.

"I don't know, but if I had to guess it's one of us two." Bora said.

"Why do you say that?" Yoohyeon asked.

"Well, cause the you and the others knew Yubin had the disease right? But she only told you guys to stay quiet and were cold towards you, did she panic Yoohyeon? When you found out." 

"No, there was barely any panic in her face." 

"If that was the case with the others, then we would be the only ones that could possibly be Yubin's love."

They listened to Bora's explanation seriously, her theory might be correct and it made sense too.

"Unless she loves Dongie or someone out of the group, then my theory would be useless."

"You might be right, I agree with your theory." Yoohyeon said.

"Me too."

After waiting for a moment, they all decided to go to their own rooms to try and get some sleep.

\---------------

Yubin woke up with petals lying around on her bed, she didn't even wake up when the coughing fit happened. She cleaned them up and realized how sore her throat was, she decided to drink some water after.

She went to the kitchen to get some water, Bora was also present in the kitchen cooking some breakfast for the others like usual. Yubin was about to leave the kitchen with her water when Bora suddenly called her.

"Yubin, wait."

"What is it?"

"Please, just tell me. Is it me?"

"No, I'm gonna leave now."

"Wait, one more thing. Wake the others up for me."

"Alright."

Yubin went and woke the others up like Bora asked, most of them were already awake so Yubin's task wasn't that hard to do. After waking them up, they all ate breakfast together with a heavy silence surrounding them.

Yubin hated it. She hated that the cause of that silence was within her, literally. She got mad at herself for getting feelings and making this like this even though it was normal for her to feel.

After eating, Yubin didn't want to do anything anymore. But instead of sleeping, Yoohyeon and Siyeon convinced her to play with them for a while. 

It was all a plan from Bora and Minji actually. They decided to find out who out of the two of them was person that Yubin loves. It wasn't a nice thing for them to do, but they wanted to save Yubin, that's why they came up with the plan.

Yubin and the others went out exploring outside, while Minji, Bora, and Gahyeon was at the dorm. They confronted Gahyeon and asked her some questions.

"Gahyeon, can we talk to you for a second?" Minji said first.

"What is it? Is it about...Yubin?"

"Yes, we need to know something."

Minji and Bora hesitated for a second but eventually asked.

"Does she...love one of the members?" Minji asked.

"Can I even give you that information?"

"Gahyeon please, we want to help her. We know that she's not gonna change her decision and she won't do anything, so let us help."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that. It doesn't feel right, if she wants to confess then she'll do it. She'll give away the identity of that person herself not me."

"Okay, we're sorry."

"Yeah...I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I know both of you mean well and I won't tell Yubin about this."

"You won't?" Bora said.

"No, not with what she's going through right now."

With that, they ended their conversation and went with their day. Gahyeon kept her word as she didn't say anything to Yubin about Bora's and Minji's question from before.

\---------------

Minji and Bora were starting to think it wasn't them, but rather Handong for some reason. They came up with another theory that maybe it wasn't Yubin not wanting to confess, but Yubin not being able to confess.

They started to give up slowly on trying to find the identity and started to believe their theory about Handong instead. They weren't the only person that gave up, Yubin was starting to as well.

She refused to take the surgery that the company scheduled behind her back and decided to hide herself in her room for days. Her hanahaki got worse and the petals were barely cleaned anymore by her, most of them were on her bed but there were still a lot on the floor.

The ones that cleaned it was Siyeon and Minji but the other members also came by a few times to check on Yubin. She barely came out of her room, only doing so when she needed to eat or grab something. She didn't care anymore, she was breaking herself even more.

\---------------

Her surgery was scheduled in a few more weeks, she still couldn't believe that the company did it without asking for her opinion. Sure, it was for her sake, she knew that, but it wasn't what she wanted. She would rather die than take the surgery.

She really meant that cause her body has been in an awful condition, she was losing grip of herself and felt like she couldn't take it anymore. She wanted time to pass by quickly to see which one came first, her death, her surgery, or her confessing.

She was really thinking about that option now. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to get rejected or lose her feelings. She didn't know what she wanted anymore, her mind and heart was lost. Now she just wants herself back.

She was getting lost in her own world and covering it up by pretending to read a novel, to hide herself losing her sanity. Her blank mind was soon interrupted by her coughing again. This time, the pain was worse. 

She threw her book away and felt something coming up her throat, she wanted to throw up. She noticed this wasn't just petals, there was something else with it. Her throat never ached so much in her life and she was getting teary-eyed.

Someone threw open the door and rushed to her, the person immediately held Yubin and tried to help her. But they couldn't really do anything. Yubin felt it, the thorns, the flower, the pain, everything. All of those things soon came out of her, a whole rose came out and she was surprised. This was the first time it happened.

She finally noticed the person that came to her, it was Minji. She thought she was alone as the others said they went out to go somewhere, but that clearly wasn't true. She thought for a second she was hallucinating and let her hands rest on Minji's cheek to check.

A small smile appeared on her face when she realized she wasn't hallucinating and it was Minji. She then saw through her tear filled eyes that Minji was also crying and also feeling the tears on her cheeks.

"I'm gonna miss you, Minji."

"Don't say that Yubin, don't. Please don't leave us, don't leave me."

"I don't want to, I'm scared to Minji. But I can't do anything else."

"No, that's a lie. You just refuse to do those things, there's a lot you can do Yubin, just please do anything. Confess or anything please."

"I want to, you have no idea how much I want to, you don't know how much I want to get rid of these flowers in me."

"Then please."

"What if she doesn't love me back? What if I ruin everything?"

"What if you don't? What if they feel the same as you do? What if everything turns out alright in the end, Yubin?"

"That was if, theres a chance it won't work out that way."

"If that's a chance then there's another chance, a better one."

Yubin looked away when Minji said that, she had a point. She even almost wanted to confess right then and there. She felt Minji's hand come up her cheek and directing her face towards hers. Maybe it will turn out nicer than she thought.

But every single thought was getting loud in her head again, too loud. Her head ached a bit, she didn't know if it was because of the thoughts or Minji but she felt lightheaded. She was going to pass out.

She felt herself closing her eyes and falling back onto her bed and hearing Minji's concerned voice slowly getting farther away but saw that Minji was close to her through her blurry vision. Then, she lost conciousness.

\---------------

She woke up looking at a bright light and noticed she wasn't in her room anymore. She was in a hospital room and groaned from the pain in her head and shifted uncomfortably in her spot. She felt a hand holding hers and looked at the purple haired person next to her.

Minji was also sleeping but in a more uncomfortable position compared to her. She thought of waking her up and offering her a place next to her on her hospital bed since it was big enough for both of them but thought it would be weird for her to offer that.

She stopped her thinking and felt Minji stirring next to her. She saw Minji blinking a couple of times to adjust herself to the lights but she went wide-eyed when she looked at Yubin that was awake now.

She got up from her seat quickly and hugged Yubin tighly. Yubin was surprised at her actions but returned the hug, and soon let go went she felt Minji letting go of her.

"You scared me so badly, Yubin."

"Sorry about that, was just lightheaded."

"You passed out, that really scared me."

"Sorry for scaring you, didn't mean to."

"It's alright."

"What time is it right now?"

Minji looked at the watch that was at the hospital wall while squinting her eye, Yubin had a small smile appear in her face again, she thought it was cute.

"It's a quarter past ten, I need to go home. I overslept here."

Minji was getting up when Yubin held Minji's wrist keeping her in place.

"Wait, stay for the night. It's not safe to walk around alone at night."

"I don't have anywhere to sleep though."

"I can move over a bit, we both can fit on this bed."

Yubin didn't know what came over her to say that and Minji was caught slightly off guard. But, what's been done is done.

"Alright, sure, why not."

Yubin moved over and lifted the blankets to let Minji in and gave her some space. Yubin was nervous for some reason that is mostly because of her crush on her, but tried to act as normal as possible.

Minji went under the covers and made herself comfortable with Yubin and snuggled with her in the process of it. Yubin returned the action by agreeing to cuddle with her.

"This okay?" Minji asked.

"Perfect."

They let themselves stay in their position with Minji resting her head on Yubin's chest and her hand hooked on Yubin's waist. Yubin had her hands keeping Minii close to her.

Yubin wanted them to stay like this forever, nothing bothering them and nothing to worry about. She refused to think about anything else when Minji was resting peacefully with her.

She let her eyes close slowly and started to feel sleepy and let herself drift to dreamland. Before doing that, she felt Minji move a bit and felt a pair of lips come in contact with her forehead for just a second.

\---------------

Yubin woke up feeling better than she has in the past few days, mostly because of Minji being there with her. She saw that Minji was still asleep and still hugging her by the waist.

Yubin turned her body slightly to face Minji and adore her features. She brushed some of her hair that was on her face and smiled at Minji that was still sleeping.

She kept staring at Minji while filling her free time at the hospital since she couldn't really do anything else other than stay at her bed. She saw Minji stirring a bit and flickered her eyes open, mouth curving up into a smile when she saw Yubin.

The next move that Minji did caught her off guard, she leaned in for a quick kiss on her cheek and closed her eyes again, and moved closer to Yubin, still not realizing what she did.

Yubin's heart was racing because of Minji's action and she feared that Minji could hear her heartbeat. She didn't know why Minji did that, but the next thing Yubin did was also spontaneous.

She kissed Minji's head and her heart was still running a marathon.

"Calm down your heart, it's beating like crazy from here."

"Y-You can hear it?"

"Of course I can dummy, I wouldn't have said that if I couldn't."

"O-oh."

Silence took them over and none of them said anything for a few seconds until Yubin spoke again.

"Why'd you kiss me Minji? Last night and just now."

"Why did you kiss me back?"

Minji released herself from Yubin a bit to look at her in the face while asking her the question.

"Because I wanted to and it was to repay your actions. Your turn."

"Because I wanted to as well."

"Anything else?"

"And because I care about you."

"Nothing more?"

"Do you want it to have something more?"

"What if I do?"

"Then what do you want?"

Yubin stayed silent for a couple of seconds before answering, truthfully.

"Your love."

Minji stayed silent at Yubin's confession and kept her poker face on.

"I want you to love me Minji, please."

Yubin never felt so pathetic in her life but she meant it, she wanted Minji to love her back.

"I'm in love with you Minji, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I would feel this way."

Minji was still silent at Yubin's confession and tears came out from her eyes.

"Fuck, Minji, please don't cry," Yubin began to cry as well.

Yubin was wiping away Minji's tear when Minji suddenly came closer and crashed her lips on Yubin's. Their kiss was a bit rushed and messy but they didn't care at all. They didn't care if it tasted salty from their tears or they were at a hospital bed, they just wanted each other.

After kissing a little bit, they parted with each other and breathed heavily due to their intensity.

"I'm so sorry, Yubin. I didn't think you would love me."

"What?"

"I thought you loved Handong since you constantly disagreed with the idea of confessing."

"Damn, I should've confessed sooner, huh?"

"Maybe, yes."

They chuckled at each other and pulled the other into another kiss, this one less intense and slower. Taking their time and let their emotions go through the kiss.

In the middle of kissing, they were interrupted by a knock from the door. They let go of each other and Minji got off the bed and sat on her previous chair from last night.

A doctor came in and saw that Yubin was awake and Minji was still there.

"Oh! You're awake and I assume you're her friend?"

"Yes I am."

"Okay, I came here to tell you that we've run some test on you and found out that you have hanahaki correct?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"The reason of your passing out might have been from exhaustion but it might be caused from your disease as well, I suggest you to take a surgery as soon as possible as your hanahaki is in a dangerous state. But other than that, you just need to get some rest, don't overwork yourself, and try not to stress yourself."

"Okay, I'll try not to do those things."

"Okay, you're allowed to leave the hospital today. I'll take my leave now."

The doctor left the room and Yubin immediately spoke again.

"When I said 'I'm not gonna do those things' that includes the surgery."

They both chuckled at Yubin's word and Minji started to play with Minji's hands and laid her head on the side of Yubin's bed.

"It that position comfortable?"

"Not really, but it's fine."

"Guess my plan failed."

"What plan?"

"My plan to try and cuddle with you again."

"Don't worry, after getting out of the hospital, we can cuddle as much as we want."

\---------------

Yubin was discharged from the hospital with Minji accompanying her. They waited for a while until their manager picked them up with the company's car and took them back to the dorm.

Once they had arrived at their dorm, Minji kept her word as they immediately went into their room and laid down on Yubin's bed to cuddle with each other, ignoring Siyeon that was confused at their smiles on their faces.

"Okay, what happened to the two of you?" Siyeon questioned.

All she got was a simple hum from the other two.

"Hello? Am I even here? You two look disgustingly cute, did something happen?"

Minji finally looked at Siyeon and answered her.

"Yes, something amazing happened. We found a cure for Yubin."

"Wait what? Not a surgery?"

"Nope, none at all," Yubin replied this time.

"It's Minji isn't it?"

"If it's not obvious enough, then yes it is me."

"I'm happy for you guys, and now I'm gonna leave the room since you two are too cute for me to handle."

"See ya," Yubin replied.

"Yup, see ya," Siyeon then left the room.

As soon as Siyeon left the room, Yubin immediately snuggled back into Minji. They stayed together for the entire day, not bothering that Siyeon didn't come back to their room and probably stayed at Gahyeon's instead.

\---------------

Yubin and Minji woke up the next laid together on Yubin's bed. The plan for them today was to inform the company of them finding the cure of Yubin's hanahaki. 

Before that, the both of them wanted to tell the good news to the other members first. The both of them took a shower first and waited for the others to do so as well.

Once everyone had done that, they told them to gather up in Yubin and Minji's room. The other members were a bit confused but they knew what was going to be discussed, either way, they all listened and gathered up.

"I'm sure you're all wondering about what this is all about, but you all know it's about Yubin," Minji spoke first.

She went silent for a while and then spoke again.

"Alright, so yesterday, we all knew Yubin fainted and we had to take her to the hospital. When we wanted to visit her, they said that the amount of visitors were limited and we all agreed for me to accompany her throughout her time in the hospital. When she was still unconscious, I waited there and accidentally fell asleep. I woke up at around 10 maybe and saw that Yubin already woke up. We talked a little bit then I noticed that overslept and needed to go back to the dorm, but Yubin stopped me and told to stay the night there, I slept in the hospital bed next to her cause she invited me for it."

Minji took another breather before continuing the story while looking at her members faces full of curiosity.

"I laid next to her on the hospital bed and we started to fall asleep slowly, but before doing that, I gave Yubin a kiss on her forehead. Long story short, we woke up and kissed her cheek, snuggled into her and she kissed the crown of my head. Afterwards, we confessed our feelings to each other."

She finally finished telling her story and looked at her members face that was a bit shocked for a while before Gahyeon spoke.

"Wait, so you guys are together now? Please tell me that you are."

"Yes, yes we are," Yubin replied.

After saying that, her members crashed them in a hug and congratulating them on getting together and congratulating Yubin's hanahaki finally disappearing.

"So, we can cancel the surgery now, right? We just need to inform the company," Yoohyeon excitedly said.

"Yes, I don't need the surgery anymore."

"Then let's go tell them quickly," Bora said.

Minji, being the leader of the group, called the company and explained the whole situation that happened and asked them to cancel the surgery. The company wasn't sure at first and told them to wait two or three more days to actually cancel the surgery just to make sure. They all agreed even though they didn't need anymore confirmation from the both of them, as when two days passed, Yubin and Minji was still being extremely cute with each other.

After those days passed, the company managed to cancel the surgery and Yubin decided to celebrate by going on a date with Minji. But, she wanted to surprise her on where they were going to go to.

She prepared first by asking permission to borrow the company's car for a while to take them to the place that Yubin was thinking about, she hoped that Minji would like it. Thankfully, her company allowed her to borrow the car.

\---------------

It was 6 p.m. and Yubin asked Minji to go out with her to go somewhere else. Their manager already parked their car in front of their dorm building and gave the keys to Yubin.

The both of them went out of their dorm building and Yubin led them to the car.

"Wait, did you borrow the company's car?"

"Yeah."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

They went inside the car and Yubin grabbed something from her pocket.

"Or not."

It was a blindfold.

"Is that a blindfold? Are you gonna blindfold me?"

"Yup, sorry if it makes you comfortable. It's a surprise."

Minji agreed and let Yubin put the blindfold around her eyes. Yubin started the car and started to drive to where she planned to go. 

\---------------

During their trip, Minji kept asking Yubin on where they were heading at night and why they needed a car, specifically a pickup truck. Yubin didn't even know her company had it, she just requested it for another plan of hers.

There were times where Minji had almost taken her blindfold off because of her curiosity but was stopped by Yubin that gave her cheek kisses by surprise or held her hand when she wouldn't expect it.

\---------------

Yubin stopped the car in the parking lot and turned off the engine. She told Minji not to take the blindfold off her and went out off the car to the side where Minji was seated at.

She led Minji that was still blindfolded and Minji could feel the texture of the ground changing and immediately knew where she was. She felt Yubin's hand untie the blindfold that was around her head. She finally took it off.

She focused on adjusting her eyes but then looked at the sky and saw the stars that was shining brightly in the night sky.

"This is what you planned?" Minji was in awe.

"Yes, wanted to make a good first impression in our first date."

"You've definitely outdone yourself."

Minji came closer to Yubin and wrapped her arms around her neck, Yubin immediately put her hands on Minji's waist as an instinct and closed the space between them.

They hovered each other's lips and let their noses touch a few times before finally leaning in and letting their lips connect. The kiss started slow but overtime they picked up their paces and stopped when they felt like they needed to take a breath.

They let go of each other's lips and put their foreheads together listening to the soft sounds of the waves and their uneven breathing. Yubin leaned in again after a second to taste Minji's lips again, she couldn't get enough of it.

Minji happily replied to her by kissing back with the same intensity. But this kiss only lasted for a shorter amount of time because Minji stopped it first.

"I think we have a lot more time to kiss than we have to admire the view here."

"By the view, do you mean you or the beach?"

They both chuckled and Minji's cheek slightly redden but the lighting there covered it up.

"What ever you want it to be."

They let go of each other and only held hands as the walked by the shores while talking, looking at the stars, and enjoying each other's company. They stopped in their tracks for a while and Minji took in the scenery while Yubin admired Minji's beauty.

"It's beautiful isn't it? And don't make corny jokes, I'm talking about the beach," Minji chuckled.

Yubin finally looked in front of her to see that Minji was indeed right. The view was beautiful but she was still hard headed on the fact that Minji was the most beautiful thing she's ever seen in her entire life. 

They stayed in the beach for a few more moments before agreeing on going back to the car but not heading back to the dorm yet. They wanted to make the best of this moment, where it felt like they were the only ones that existed at that moment and nothing in the world could bother that.

"Do you want to sit on the bed of the truck or the usual passenger and driver seat?"

"Isn't it going to be painful laying on our backs in the bed of the truck?"

"I brought is a few cushions and blankets to make things comfortable."

"Then let's lie on the back."

The both of them got to the truck and Yubin got the cushions and blankets that she was talking about and placed them on the bed of the truck to make things comfortable for the both of them.

Once Yubin finished, the both of them laid onto the bed of the truck and held each other in the other's arms. Minji snuggled into Yubin and Yubin started to play with Minji's hair.

"Thank you, Minji."

Minji looked up at Yubin only to see her staring at the stars.

"For what?"

Yubin looked down towards Minji that had a confused expression on her face.

"For loving me, for saving me, for everything really."

Minji's eyes softened and made her get into a position that was face to face with Yubin.

"It was impossible not to love you, so you don't need to thank me for anything."

Minji pressed a quick kiss on Yubin's lips and pulled away quickly, too quick for Yubin to catch her lips again. Minji noticed Yubin chasing her lips for another kiss and decided to give her another, and more than she thought.

The two spended the rest of the day there looking at the stars and having each other in each other's arms, telling stories, and played around with each other.

Yubin was glad she confessed to Minji, otherwise, she couldn't have felt this sense of home whenever and wherever she was with her. She was glad she loved Minji and only her, most importantly, she was glad Minji felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add some alternative endings if I can but it'll be some sad ones.  
> Maybe I'll post them here or maybe on wattpad, my username and the story title is the same if you want to check it out.  
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Alternate Ending

Her surgery was scheduled in a few more weeks, she still couldn't believe that the company did it without asking for her opinion. Sure, it was for her sake, she knew that, but it wasn't what she wanted. She would rather die than take the surgery.

She really meant that cause her body has been in an awful condition, she was losing grip of herself and felt like she couldn't take it anymore. She wanted time to pass by quickly to see which one came first, her death, her surgery, or her confessing.

She was really thinking about that option now. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to get rejected or lose her feelings. She didn't know what she wanted anymore, her mind and heart was lost. Now she just wants herself back.

She was getting lost in her own world and covering it up by pretending to read a novel, to hide herself losing her sanity. Her blank mind was soon interrupted by her coughing again. This time, the pain was worse. 

She threw her book away and felt something coming up her throat, she wanted to throw up. She noticed this wasn't just petals, there was something else with it. Her throat never ached so much in her life and she was getting teary-eyed.

Someone threw open the door and rushed to her, the person immediately held Yubin and tried to help her. But they couldn't really do anything. Yubin felt it, the thorns, the flower, the pain, everything. All of those things soon came out of her, a whole rose came out and she was surprised. This was the first time it happened.

She finally noticed the person that came to her, it was Minji. She thought she was alone as the others said they went out to go somewhere, but that clearly wasn't true. She thought for a second she was hallucinating and let her hands rest on Minji's cheek to check.

A small smile appeared on her face when she realized she wasn't hallucinating and it was Minji. She then saw through her tear filled eyes that Minji was also crying and also feeling the tears on her cheeks.

"I'm gonna miss you, Minji."

"Don't say that Yubin, don't. Please don't leave us, don't leave me."

"I don't want to, I'm scared to Minji. But I can't do anything else."

"No, that's a lie. You just refuse to do those things, there's a lot you can do Yubin, just please do anything. Confess or anything please."

"I want to, you have no idea how much I want to, you don't know how much I want to get rid of these flowers in me."

"Then please."

"What if she doesn't love me back? What if I ruin everything?"

"What if you don't? What if they feel the same as you do? What if everything turns out alright in the end, Yubin?"

"That was if, theres a chance it won't work out that way."

"If that's a chance then there's another chance, a better one."

Yubin looked away when Minji said that, she had a point. She even almost wanted to confess right then and there. She felt Minji's hand come up her cheek and directing her face towards hers. Maybe it will turn out nicer than she thought.

But every single thought was getting loud in her head again, too loud. Her head ached a bit, she didn't know if it was because of the thoughts or Minji but she felt lightheaded. She was going to pass out.

She felt herself closing her eyes and falling back onto her bed and hearing Minji's concerned voice slowly getting farther away but saw that Minji was close to her through her blurry vision. Then, she lost conciousness.

\----------------

When she woke up, she immediately noticed that she wasn't in her room anymore. She was definitely in the hospital, the last thing she remembered was talking to Minji in their room.

When she looked to her side, she saw Minji and Bora sleeping on the chair that was on the side. Her heart ached once again when she saw that Minji's head was resting on Bora's shoulder.

She started to cough again, her chest was aching so much she started to tear up because of it. Her loud coughing made Bora and Minji stir awake. When they saw Yubin, they immediately went to her.

Yubin coughed up a whole flower and some blood. Her whole body was tired once again and she flopped down on the hospital bed again, flower in hand.

"Oh god," Bora was the first one to say something.

"Yubin, you have to take that surgery. I told you, please just do something."

Yubin only stayed silent when she heard them talk. She was giving up.

"What time is it?" Yubin asked. Her throat hurts when she talks.

"It's ten, why?" Minji said.

"You guys should go home, it's getting late."

"No, we're staying," Bora said.

"Suit yourself," Yubin replied coldly.

They tried to clean some blood off the covers and on Yubin. After doing that, they went to their previous seat. Yubin gradually became sleepier and decided to go to sleep again, Bora and Minji slept as well after seeing Yubin sleep.

\---------------

Morning came and Yubin was the first one to wake up. She saw that Bora and Minji was still asleep in the chair. She then heard a knock coming from the door and it opening too. It was the doctor.

"Oh, you're awake. That's good, I came here to tell you that you passed out because of stress and lack of rest. From hearing that, I'm sure you know that you need to rest and relax more."

"Yes, doctor."

"I also noticed that you have hanahaki, I suggest you do something about that Ms. Lee. It's pretty bad from what I saw."

Yubin only stayed silent after hearing the doctor's words. Everybody's been telling me to do that.

"Also you can go home today. If you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving."

The doctor left her room. Making the silence return. Her surgery was getting closer and her thoughts were becoming even more dangerous. She had a crazy plan in mind, she laughed bitterly while thinking about it.

\---------------

It was the night before her surgery. Everybody accepted that she was going to take the surgery instead of confessing. She still hadn't told anyone about who she loved, she didn't even tell anyone until the end of it.

Everyone was already asleep now, Yubin was still wide awake in her bed. She was going to do her plan tonight, she took her bag that had everything she prepared in it. After making sure everyone was sleeping and making sure she had everything she needed, she left.

\---------------

Minji woke up first in their room and noticed that Yubin wasn't on her bed. She didn't think that much about it since she was an early bird. After washing up for a bit, she went to the kitchen.

She saw that Bora was there, cooking breakfast like usual. She was confused since she didn't see Yubin anywhere, but she tried to keep it positive by believing that she might be in the other member's room.

"Hey, where's Yubin?" Bora asked.

"I thought you knew? She's not in our room."

"I haven't seen her come out here, go check Gahyeon's room. There's no way she's in my room since I didn't see her."

Minji went into Gahyeon's room to see that she was sleeping. Panic seeped into her and she went back to Bora.

"She's not there."

Bora stopped everything that she was doing to look at Minji.

"What?"

"I said she's not in her room. Bora, what did she do."

"Fuck, I'll go and try to call her, you go message her."

"Okay, I'll try to ask the others too."

"Good idea."

Minji went to her room and grabbed her phone. She texted Yubin numerous times but it kept failing to deliver it to her. She woke Siyeon up to ask if she knew anything about where Yubin was today. But unfortunately, Siyeon knew nothing.

Bora tried calling Yubin but her calls were never picked up. She was out of reach, she texted her a lot of times as well but only got the same thing as Minji. She woke Yoohyeon up to ask if she knew anything about Yubin but she knew nothing too.

Minji already went to Gahyeon's room to ask her about Yubin's whereabouts, Gahyeon took a while to respond to Minji and that made Minji suspicious of her. But, Gahyeon claimed that she knew nothing.

Minji then left her room and went back to Bora, who was in front of the door. She took Bora outside to the living room to talk to her.

"I think Gahyeon knows something but won't admit it."

"Why?"

"I don't know if it was because she just woke up or if she's hiding something but wants to reveal it."

Their conversation was stopped by Yoohyeon, who walked in because of her worry and curiosity.

"What's going on?"

"Well...we don't know where Yubin is, we tried calling and texting her but it didn't work," Bora answered.

"She's not here?"

"No, unfortunately," Bora replied.

Their search went on for hours. They looked everywhere that they know where they think Yubin might be. But she wasn't in any of those places, it was like she disappeared.

\---------------

Yubin opened the door and looked around. She was greeted by her mother that was surprised at Yubin's sudden visit. She went over to her and hugged her.

"Where's dad and ddoddo?"

"Your dad is in his room and ddoddo's somewhere in the living room. But why did you come so suddenly? No practice?"

"No, we get to have breaks for a while and I wanted to spend it here while I can."

"Okay then. I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

Yubin spent her day with her parents and ddoddo and hiding her coughing and petals that were coming out. She knew what she was doing was stupid, but she's said this to herself so many times, I would rather die than lose my feelings. 

She didn't plan on taking the surgery. If she was going to die, then she was going to die. She opened her phone and took it off airplane mode to text the members in their group chat.

Hi, I'm sorry for making all of you concerned but I'm fine right now. I'm at somewhere else right now and I'm asking for all of you to not look for me.

I know it sounds stupid but please. I'm happy right now and I don't want it to disappear. I know I don't have much time and I want to make the most of it. I don't know if I'll die tomorrow or next week and it scares me. But please, don't look for me. I'm sorry if I have made mistakes towards all of you in the pass and I hope you can forgive me.

She pressed send and went to another chat.

Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Minji. 

I'm sorry for being an idiot, I'm sorry for leaving quicker than everyone thought, I'm sorry for not taking the surgery, I'm sorry for not doing anything in the end, and I'm sorry for loving you.

I'm so sorry, Minji. I'm sorry for the last one the most. I didn't know that I would fall for you, I've fallen for you for a while now. It's hard not to love you, I'm sorry.

I know these feelings won't be reciprocated, but I just wanted to tell you this before I die. I'm sorry once again and I love you, Minji.

Tears were running down Yubin's cheek. She almost turned on airplane mode before receiving a message from Minji.

Yubin? Please come back, there's so many things we haven't done, so many things we have yet to achieve together.  
Me and the others are worried sick, everyone's looking for you everywhere. 

That message was sent a few hours back. Now, Minji was typing something else. Yubin ignored the other messages that were flooding her phone. She waited for Minji to finish what she wanted to say.

Come back, Yubin. Please. I can love you, I can help you get rid of those flowers, just come back. I'm sorry, Yubin, I'll try to love you. Just come back.

Yubin started to cough again, this one was even painful than the last. She tried to type even if blood was coming out and tears were blocking her vision.

Minji, I think I'm dying. It hurts so much, it's the worse one yet. I'm at my parents house, help me.

She placed her phone down after sending her text. The pain was horrible, she suddenly saw her mom and dad in front of her, panicking. They heard her coughing.

She coughed up another flower, but this time she was running out of air to breath now. She felt pain after taking every breath. It was already filling her lungs.

She felt herself losing consciousness, and losing her breaths. Her breathing got slower and pulse was disappearing. She slowly closed her eyes and let the darkness fill her vision.

\---------------

By the time the ambulance got there, it was too late. She was gone. The members went to the hospital and broke down when they heard the news. They couldn't believe it.

The let them see Yubin for the last time before having to leave the hospital since they couldn't stay there forever. Everyone cried that night.

\---------------

It was the day of the funeral. People who knew her was shocked to hear the news and comforted the members and her family that was there. Some of the members couldn't cry anymore, they were too sad to cry. Minji was one of those members.

The members stayed there longer than the other people that attended her funeral. They were feeling empty and left when they were forced to by their manager.

Things were never the same in their group after Yubin left. Everytime they heard their songs, they would cry instead of practicing them. Unfortunately, that went longer than any of them expected.

After feeling like they couldn't take it anymore, they disbanded. They became solo artist and some left the company to pursue other career paths.

\---------------

And now, she was there. Standing while looking at Yubin's grave. She smiled sadly, and tight feeling appearing in her chest. She crouched down to get closer to her, a tear falling down her cheek at the same time. She will never lose the feeling of guilt and regret in her.

"Hey, I'm here again, Yubin," Minji spoke softly.

She stayed silent for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts and words.

"I'm sorry. I should've loved you earlier, i should've realized it sooner."

She took in another breath.

"I miss you a lot y'know? We miss you a lot. I know you can't reply to me, heck i don't even know if you can hear me. But, if you can, and even if you can't, i love you."

More tears fell as she spoke, her voice trembling, and her sad smile turning to a frown.

"I'm so sorry, Yubin. I'm a fool."

She got up and wiped her tears, walking away from Yubin's tombstone and leaving the cemetery. Taking one more look before finally leaving.

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry i killed Yubin, i was thinking of not doing it but why not I guess :/  
> I tried my best making this hope you enjoyed it though


End file.
